There is No Thief Like Fear!

 Last week I got a notice in the mail that instantly sent me into a panic!! What it told me threatened the plans that have been formulating for months. These have not just been MY plans alone. God has been so obvious in His leading... and yet a little piece of paper can yank me off of HIS lap and make me afraid. DOH!!

Not sure how you handle fear or stress, but I eat! My number one “go to” comfort food is potato chips! Mmmmm... salty, crunchy... *stop drooling, Ann*. In the absence of potato chips, however, I will accept almost anything else. When that piece of mail came I did not have potato chips handy, but I did have the next best thing...! Sweetarts! So, as I was on the phone... on hold, in queue... waiting... and waiting... listening to some canned midi music... I ripped into a package of Sweetarts! I crunched up those yummy, sour disks like they were going to save my life!! After an hour and a half of waiting and then talking with the nice IRS gentleman (who was able to get to the bottom of the problem and come up with a temporary solution)... I had almost finished two “magic wands of tart goodness”!! Of course I regretted devouring that much candy!

I hung up the phone and sat in a puddle of worry about finances; stress about what to do next; and guilt about eating all those Sweetarts. Worry! Stress! Guilt! Each of those emotions are deeply rooted in fear!! It took me hours... no days... to realize I had let fear in and it was crippling. Fear was covering up, actually STEALing, the wonderful things... joy, hope, peace... that are meant to be mine... meant to be ours in Christ.

A few years back I watched a video devotional by Mike Donehey (Tenth Avenue North) called Fear is Just a Lie. It started to change the way I looked at things that came into my life. I truly believe that fear happens when I believe a lie. When I dissect my fears, they ALL come from a misguided belief that Jesus may not really have my back. Do I believe Jesus’ promises or not? Is there ANYTHING that can happen that could possibly be so terrible that it would destroy me?! Of course not! That’s what Romans 8:38-39 is all about!!

I wish my memory worked perfectly and I could always keep in mind the things Jesus has taught me - at the moment I need to remember them! But there I was... sitting in that emotional puddle (the day before Thanksgiving, ironically)... believing lies straight from the enemy! I slowly began to emerge from the puddle (with the help of sweet friends), but even days later I could feel the drips of worry, stress and guilt still clinging to me. That’s when I found the last bits of the second package of Sweetarts. I could almost HEAR God say (with a little chuckle in His voice)... whose comfort do you really want? Mine or Sweetarts? I snapped that picture of the wrapper and chuckled a bit myself. Shortly after that, No Thief Life Fear by Jason Gray played in my mix on Spotify. What a perfect way to remind me of truth and emphasize Jesus’ promises of freedom and peace.

I keep that silly piece of curled up wrapper hanging on my desk as a reminder of His promises to be everything to me. Jesus is SO much more than Sweetarts! ...or even potato chips!!!

It's Astounding!!

Please note: there is some unintended salty language in this post! :-)


Have you ever read through those sites that post screenshots of text auto-correct goofs? I’ve laughed myself almost to the point of hysteria reading through those. I had also prided myself in knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that “could never happen to me!”


Last week I drove to El Paso, Texas. Throughout the trip from Wisconsin I was often in contact with my friend, Lisa, in El Paso. Before I left WI I had finally purchased a bluetooth headset to stay in communication while on the road. This thing works great! I can stay in contact AND keep my hands on the wheel! On Thursday I was driving west through Oklahoma and the Texas panhandle. I was headed toward Roswell, NM to visit my friend, Carolyn. It had been cloudy and raining through most of the day, but Carolyn said it was clearing up near them and I was looking forward to seeing sunshine. As I got closer to NM I could see near the horizon that the skies were indeed clearing.


I sent Lisa a message exclaiming about the clearing weather ahead. I told the phone to ‘send’ and didn’t check to make sure it correctly typed what I had said. Yep... you guessed it... horrible auto-correct goof!!

What I had said into my headset was, “The break in the clouds ahead is astounding!”


OF COURSE... right after I sent the “I’m dyin” I lost ALL phone signal. You can see the ‘churning wheels of death’ on the 2 texts that would have explained what I meant.


Aaaaaand, not being able to finish a conversation that ended with, “Noooooooo” and “I’m dyin”, could be a bit disturbing on both ends. But it could be quite frightening on the receiving end!

Lisa was worried that something had happened to me... that maybe I was laying by the side of the highway, literally, dying. I was trying to call her because I was mortified at what had come out of my phone!!!


For about 30 minutes I had absolutely NO SIGNAL! She was worried... and I was having a hard time driving because I was laughing so hard!! And we could not communicate.


This was my view ahead. Now, wouldn’t you call that ASTOUNDING?!!

SO there ya have it. Auto-correct mistakes can happen to anyone... if you don’t proof-read. Lesson learned... I hope!

I finally know what I wanna do when I grow up!!!

...now to figure out how to grow up... 

I recently spent 9 weeks in Idaho helping take care of my Aunt Donna. Being there rekindled my love for care-taking. It was the direction I was headed early in my 20s. Kids came along and life happened. I don't regret any of it. And I certainly loved and am grateful for over 2 decades in radio!!

My time with my aunt helped me to realize God is leading me into traveling respite care. I am so excited! It mixes two things that I love... travel and care-taking.

I've accepted my first "gig"!! Early in October I'll be headed to El Paso, Texas where I'll be staying with Sandy, the mom of some good friends.  Sandy is moving through the stages of Alzheimer's. I will be getting my CNA while there. Will also be getting a hospice certification and other training.

Eventually, my plan is to be "stationed" out of southern Wisconsin while I travel and do respite and hospice care. I say "my plan", but we know Jesus is the One that directs our path. Look at what He's done already! Would anyone have guessed that my journey would look like THIS a year ago... Dang... Even 2 months ago?! Not me!!

I wish I could describe the multiple dozens of pieces of this puzzle that God has dropped into place! He's such a "master-jigsaw-puzzle-piece-placer"!!!

Please pray for me as this journey continues... for strength and wisdom!  I will be far away from family for months at a time. I'm going to miss those GKids something fierce! Also pray for Sandy and her family. They have a rough journey ahead!

Love, Hugs, Blessings & Chocolate,
Annie

Who needs Ponce de León?!!

Thursday morning (04/16/15) I left my Aunt Bobbie's well rested and light-hearted. It was such a delightful and fun time with her and some of her extended family!! As I headed up into the mountains northwest of Phoenix, I was surrounded by sights a cheddarhead doesn't get to see every day... mountains, palm trees, cactus, Joshua Trees and, occasionally, flowers trying to exist in the desert. The road was winding and rolling between the mountains. (Now, if you know me, I LOVE THAT... winding, rolling... up and down, back and forth... sigh). 

I had the CD player cranked. I must have had the silliest grin on my face!! I was laughing... and singing... and gasping at the sights... crying... and laughing some more... hollering at Jesus, telling Him what an awesome creator He is! I blurted out, giggling; "Oh God! I feel like a little kid!!!" I heard my Heavenly Dad's voice say... "Yes... I am melting away the years."

Sigh...

And, like He often orchestrates, this song was next on the CD...

Nothing is Wasted - Jason Gray

"From the ruins, from the ashes; beauty will rise. From the wreckage, from the darkness; glory will shine" - JG

50 What?!!

I'd much rather have 50 years of marriage than 50 shades of anything! But sometimes my plans and dreams don't happen... and then God...

He's redeeming the years the locusts ate! He's taking "loss" and simply making it "change". And He's calling me His Beloved!

Now, as for the dangers of a certain movie that came out this week... here are just a few: 

Fifty Shades of Destruction to Women and Girls

Romance Isn't Dead

Hi, my name is Ann and I'm a "Castle" addict.  

I'm not sure how this television series has been running since 2009 and I had not even watched one episode. It is fantastic!

How addicted am I? Throughout my day I will ask myself... "Is there enough time to watch an episode before I have to do 'such-and-such'?"!!

"Castle" is a crime solving series that has intrigue, romance and humor. The story-line revolves around a beautiful police detective (Kate Beckett - Stana Katic)) who is tasked with solving murders in New York City and a handsome (if a bit awkward), rich and well connected murder/mystery novelist (Richard Castle - Nathan Fillion). The pilot connects these two over a series of deaths that mimic murders in some of the writer's novels. Castle is brought on to "consult" in that investigation and then ingratiates himself into a semi-permanent position as a consultant to Beckett because he's friends with the NY mayor. The show has great writers; it's difficult to predict the outcome of each episode! It keeps you guessing... and laughing!

I started watching current episodes on Hulu simply because I saw that Nathan Fillion was on the show. I loved him in "Firefly". I know, I know... I'm a sci-fi geek.

I also realize these kinds of shows (with gender tension and romance) are like porn for us women! Sigh... that's for another post.

Though the series hinted at Beckett and Castle falling for each other, it has taken until season 4 for it to actually happen. And the thought that ran through my head...? “I want to fall in love that way." Their love grew and evolved. It was good romance!

I don't know what that's like. Not that T was incapable of any kind of romance, but when the relationship revolves around manipulation... the romance is hollow. I doubt it would have changed anything... and I doubt I would/could have changed anything... if I had recognized the manipulation for what it was.

Today I finished an episode that was set around Christmastime. It was delightful to watch Beckett and Castle dance around each other's expectations of Christmas. And then watch them finally communicate with each other, and then acquiesce to each other's ideas to bring the episode to a sweet and romantic conclusion. Again I said to myself (through actual tears of longing), "THAT is the romance I want! I want to be valued and wooed" Almost immediately I could hear Jesus say, "That's exactly how I've pursued you, my love."

Jeremiah 31:3, "I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself." This was Jehovah talking about His new covenant with His people. And Isaiah talked about that new covenant also. In Isaiah 54:9-10... "Just as I swore in the time of Noah that I would never again let a flood cover the earth, so now I swear that I will never again be angry and punish you. For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken,” says the Lord, who has mercy on you. Psalm 23:6... Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life. And in Hosea 2:19-20... I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the Lord.

I started my relationship with Jesus back in 1970. And it took over 40 years of Him pursuing and wooing for me to see how overwhelming, pure and unconditional His love for me truly is! Now, wouldn't you call that a perfect romance?!

Soooo... here I sit...

Soooo... here I sit with amended documents to sign and send back. Weighty!

His coldness and callousness makes it a smidge easier.

If there's one thing I've learned over the last year... it's patience. I haven't done anything in haste. Taking the time has made it obvious that his plans have not changed and I have to, yes, move on. If I keep trying, I'm standing in the way of the consequences that T has headed his way. That was the message that God started dropping into my heart early in December. Then every interaction with him confirms it.

I think I did most of my crying the day before our anniversary, Dec 29th. I think God was helping me tear things off my heart... rip weights off my soul.

I always had a feeling he'd leave me, although, I never thought it would be for another woman. Guess I should be glad, it definitely puts a finality to the leaving.

And, seriously, I can be thankful for the pain that has sent me running to my Savior!  Can't say I'm thankful for the circumstances, but I am thankful for the pain. Funny how my pea-brain can separate those. 

I still cry, often. But I even look forward to those times... because Jesus seems to feel closer then. 

Movin' on...  4HIM - Let The Healing Begin