We spent almost an hour and a half chatting this morning... memories came like a tsunami. I think it was precipitated by her feeling dumb for having forgotten a birthday.
Jesus, her stories are always the same. I continue to enjoy hearing her tell them. She sometimes has an insatiable need to tell them. I do love hearing about the things that obviously still delight her. But, Jesus, so many stories come with such pain and even bitterness. Please free her from these thoughts that give her such sadness! The bitter thoughts sometimes almost seem like an addiction. But more than likely the extreme emotion that goes with them has seared them in her brain.
Lord! I would first ask that You heal Sandy from this ugly disease. I don't care what that means for my future! I want her whole!!! Lord, if pieces of her mind have to keep disappearing, I ask that You take those painful memories first!! Oh, Jesus... Jesus, please break the chains those memories have on her! Guard her mind with the power of Your blood... Guard those delightful memories. Keep them in there solidly. And let the hurtful ones go.
Please help Sandy see how much You delight in her. Help her to see how forgiven and loved she is. Help her to see the adored, desired and chosen daughter that she is. Show her how thrilled You are that she has chosen You in return. Not for pride's sake, but for the sake of her peace. Jesus, please, as she's dreaming, fill her mind with the sights and knowledge of You and Your love for her. Show me ways I can speak truth to her. Help me keep my eyes open to guard against the things that make her remember the hurts.
Jesus, I thank You for Sandy and the legacy and the family that she has nurtured. I thank You for how You have cared for me and encouraged me through this family. Guide them through the ugly things ahead. Give them a glimpse of the beauty You create from ugly things! Show each of them the overwhelming love You have for them. Solidify the knowledge that You go in front of them. That Your hand has a tight hold on them and nothing will ever come between You and them... Not events, attitudes, actions can break that hold!
Thank you for spoiling me... I have no words to describe how grateful I am... will shut up now and let the Holy Spirit interpret my frail attempts at adoration and thankfulness. I am nothing without You and thank You for being right here, always... In Your name, Jesus, and by the power of Your blood.
